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VACATION!

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After school I had a lesson with my yoga instructor. Halfway through the session I noticed the sky was darkening..around the time it ended, a full out solar eclipse was beginning. I had two choices..I could pull up my collar and face armageddon, or bum a ride home. I chose the latter...


I began to walk down Main St. thumb poised for action..hoping to grab the attention of the next old man in a pick-up truck that drove by. Instead, I was summoned to the curb by next door neighbour, who proceeded to drive me up the drive-way into my home. When the ride began to last longer than I had anticipated, I began to wonder if was actually going home at all. As it turns out, the blindfold they had placed around my eyes, and the ropes they had used to gag me, had nothing to do with a driving game. I was in fact, being kidnapped. We drove for approximately two days, and two nights..until we finally stopped, and I was graciously thrown down a fleight of stairs to a cold damp basement. We were in beautiful Wichita Kansas! The cornmeal capital of the world! I'd always wanted to visit, so naturally the excess vomiting had more to do with excitement than the numerous beatings and molestation attempts. Eventually, I was forced to wear a box made of steel around my head..I didn't let it get me down though..because...I WAS IN BEAUTIFUL WICHITA KANSAS! I was forced to endure medival torture, as well as being force fed my own excriment. Nightly, I was placed in a very beautiful old wooden box, (which I think was made of oak..and also doubled as a coffin at one time.)  I was forced to clean toilets and eat the same meal everyday, (which I think was the most unbearable part) Upon the seventh year of my imprisonment, I began to enjoy the beatings. I relished in the thought of bloody hands clasped my neck, I even began to explore the bruises that decorated my once boring flesh. All in all, when I was returned to my family..I didn't want to leave..I screamed and kicked, and threatened my captors until they took me back. To this day, my life consists of numerous road trips in which, they attempt to leave me for dead.  Funny story, in order to get me to go away, they framed me for murder...but to no avail. No, I'm happily enjoying my days in the wooden box. 



Current Location:
a box under my owners bed
Current Mood:
rejuvenated rejuvenated
Current Music:
Frank Sinatra-I Get a Kick Out of You
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